थे फॉरेस्ट स्टील विस्पेर्स इट्स सेक्रेट्स

I had an emotional response to walking today. I realized I haven't walked more than a mile or so since being off the trail. Although I did hike and camp for a couple of days at Acadia Nat'l Park, but that was my immediate unwinding, very amazing, very neccesary. I've just been so busy doing this and that, visiting people and places, tying up loose ends, cleaning up and clearing out (as Persephone would say) and making space for the new.Finally, last night I felt that things were settling down and a real rythym might be able to start. It felt good to putter around in the kitchen, making up my long craved for red cabbage and seaweed salad, marinating tofu for BLTs tomorrow, and looking up recipes online. Cup of tea in hand I ventured to the couch and flipped on the tube. Instantly getting sucked into the show 'Project Runway' I began to feel antsy. 'Is this what it's going to be like now?' Instead of sitting outside around a fire, staring at that with a few good friends, enjoying the simplicity of it all, I am inside, staring at people I don't know or care about, and I don't even know that it's actually really warm outside. It looked cold through the window because of the storm, so I hadn't bothered to go out. I don't like being detatched from what's going on in nature. So, I decided, at that moment that I definately need to get my butt outside....no messin' around. This morning, after cereal and tea I donned my running shoes and strolled on down the street. A more perfect fall morning couldn't have existed. Warm, but cool enough for my favorite knit cap, bright red and yellow leaves up against the bold blue fall sky and sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. Mmmm Hmmmm.
It felt so good to be moving. Stretching my legs, my knees loosening up (they are still kind stiff, especially my left one) I felt a bounce coming into my step and a surge of sweet energy. Not ten minutes into my walk, I started flashing to visions of being on the trail, or a trail. As clear as I could see the sidewalk in front of me, the houses on the road and the cars whizzing past, I could,in my mind's eye, see a brown trail beneath my feet, trees and forest growth on either side and only the sounds of the leaves blowing in the breeze, birds and chipmunks busy as ever and red squirrels bitching (they are always, it seems, going off on something from some high post in a tree)at any and everything in sight. I felt like I could walk all day, knowing that I actually could if I had food and water. It's a cool feeling to know that I could turn a 3 mile walk into 20 and never suffer for it. I was suddenly missing the trail, suddenly, a lot. I got lost in thought and memory for a bit and was feeling pretty emotional. It could've turned to sadness and longing,and in my past,that my be where I would have gone. Instead, it turned to a feeling of peace, joy and gratitude. I now have these memories I can turn to anytime I need them.
As I said in one of my earlier entries, this walk, in part, was a walk of gratitude. Gratitude for the conciousness and strenght to chose my own path. And now, the universe, seeing my heart, my soul, and determination is opening it's doors for me. I can almost here them wispering to each other, 'i think she's ready'. And I'm listening, with all my senses, to the guiding forces~
As the main character's mother in Almost Famous says to the lead guitarist in the band, "Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aide" I think that's just right on.