The Sacred Palace of Cocoon

Ah! The Palace.
    14 Walnut Street, filled to the brim with Queens and Goddessess, Princess Puppy Snuggles, tears, laughter, LOVE, joys, boys, always pots of food, herbs, medicinal ghee, tea or soup on the stove. The 'Palace Garden' overflowing with tomatoes, kale, and climbing beans that nearly ate the clothes line. House concerts and poetry readings, watching Monarch (Royalty!) Butterflies emerge with from their cocoons, knowing that my/our emergence was eminent….and to have patience. Trust.

   This was the house of knowing. Knowing I could come home, heart weary and confused, sit at the kitchen table with the 'You Are Wonderful' sign overhead, and be heard, Say anything and everything……that I would never have said to anyone before….say, "Is this normal?? or wft!, Oh Wow!, Am I crazy? Can I want so much? Do I have permission? Can I be Awesome? Am I allowed? To Shine? To Grow? To Take-Up-Space in the world? I could come home, wild with victory, and never be squashed. This was the house of 'How high can you raise your ceiling'?, of 'Don't you know you're Boundless?'  Boundless…..boundless….Ahhhhhhhh……..yes.

   Oh, my Queens, my Sistas….this is for you ~ dedicated to you. Queen Rock n' Roll, Queen Sugar Snap, Queen Moth Lantern, Queen Red Rose, Queen Petunia Tunes, Princess Puppy Snuggles (aka Lody McLodersons, palace dog)…and then there's me Queen Manifestra, and my King Koala.

   Moving to Northampton, MA I knew nothing, no one, had no place to live, just a job and a knowing in my heart that I had to be here. I had to make this stop along the way. And that it would be important. Vital. I knew this. I knew I couldn't just answer a craigs list add for a roommate. I had to wait. I had to live with women, I needed to. I didn't know how to be with women my own age and I couldn't go on like that. I needed to immerse, to love and learn about women, in all their beauty, strength, vulnerability, wisdom, intuition, nurturance, fire, wildness, playfulness and mystery ~ so that I could access that within myself and become the woman I wanted to be. So I waited. I worked my job and lived in the woods, pitching my tent here and there, showering here and there, listening to the heartbeat of the earth, dreaming earth dreams, watching the breaking up of the spring ice and the snow melt. Waiting…..until I met a lovely soul who invited me to meet up with some ladies who were planning on living together. We all met (I, feeling timid and awkward but doing my best to not seem it), talked, asked questions, talking of the importance of consciously deciding to live with others…ah, yes! And, thus…the Palace was born. And we were all given Queen names. Mine came about early on ~ I had a streak of "Just saying it" and "It" would appear…in detail. ~Manifestra~

   For the next two years I felt this cocoon wrap around me, snug, cozy, at times uncomfortable. I ended up in a relationship that pushed all of my buttons, yet paved the way for so much growth that, without, I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am now. I learned to speak my truth, to know and use boundaries, and I learned that love rules all and is the umbrella under which everything else sits. I learned that "Where there is question, there is no love ~ Where there is Love, there is no question" I learned to listen more closely and trust the voice of my soul which has guided me to my beloved. Had I listened to the voice of reason in my head, I may not be engaged to marry the absolute love of my life, the soul in my soul, the beloved I've known for thousands of years ~ the voice and vision of my soul knew exactly what was up!

   My Queens were the ones who were witness to the beginning, the first moment when I came home from Block Island, like…..'Um, something is happening. I don't know what, what it means, I don't know anything.." Queen Moth Lantern was the one who heard my poem, a summoning of the beloved, long before anything between John and I was a glimmer. Looking back, that poem is an exact description of him….right to the bones. They were the witness of the unfolding of true love, through the doubt, the worry and fear, the swooning, melting, letting go, accepting, setting standards, loving, loving, and loving.

   My Queens ~ who all live so wildly, truthfully, with purpose, intention, higher consciousness, and passion. Who have all scattered in the direction their river flowed, wondrous journeys to Mexico, Central America, California, India….diving into their arts, passions for healing and healing others while experiencing abundance. Who have shown me, in a way that really rooted…that what you put out, you will get in return. My Manifestra streak was just a taste. But more deeply, you deepest dreams and truest desires, if they are for the greater good….you put out that intention, you do your good work, you stick to your daily practice so the universe knows you mean it ~  it will come…in mysterious forms sometimes, yes. As I keep moving forward at seemingly an accelerated pace, through and through doorways,  more are opening before me, and all are full of wonder and possibility…… I truly don't know where or who I would be if it weren't for the Palace Cocooon and it's Royal Inhabitants ~

   So, my loves….for you ~ A little Queenie love fest

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
~Mani

~ The Climbing Beans eating the Clothes Line!!!

   

Slow and Steady ~ For the Love of Thru Hiking and Sat Nam!!!!

                                                                           ~

    Ah, so This time of year is upon us again. Yes, it's nearing the end of a seemingly especially long, cold winter. Yes, spring is about to be sprung….I've been hearing the morning birds rocking' out more and more, despite the very freezing early morning temps. Yes, friends will be returning soon from their winter travels to places far, mystical, and exotic……..

    But what I am specifically thinking about, witnessing through friends just beginning to head out on a different sort of journey, and feeling in my bones, the soles of my feet, my very cells that have been given a voice, a loud voice, like a 'Hollah!' kind of voice, like a 'Get yer ass outside, on the earth and under the stars!' kind of voice……..is the beginning of thru hiking season.

   This whole blog started as a documentation of my Appalachian Trail thru hike in 2009 ~ it obviously has morphed and evolved into it's own thing. Returning to it's roots today, I am craving. That moment, getting dropped off on the side of the road in the mountains of north Georgia…..and walking away. Away from the road, away from my friend who drove me there, who was already driving off. Away and up. Immediately up a mountain. Some snow still on the ground, but a beautiful spring earthy smelling day. My liberation. With everything I needed on my back, all I had to do was walk. That feeling. Whoa. That feeling. I have everything I need. All I need to do is walk. And breathe. And eat. And sleep. And be with nature. It's all I had ever wanted….seemingly simple desires. Really all I ever wanted was peace and a simple life, and it felt true in every way to go forth into the forests and mountains to find it. Follow the white blazes north, one step at a time, 2,178 miles.

    I didn't even plan on making any friends, honestly. I had heard that for others, this trek was a fun and lively social experience, partying in trail towns, trail romances, camping in huge groups. I was not interested. I wanted to Be Alone! I was trying to get away from people. Mind you, I had been living on an island where there really aren't that many people at all. This was to be a 'Spiritual Experience'. It's so funny, now looking back, what I had perceived to be a spiritual experience. To me, it meant something alone, with nature, the spirits, God, in ceremony or ritual. Spiritual, to me didn't exist at parties or in roaring laughter around a campfire. I think I even held judgment against those who 'had too much fun'……uh, probably not as evolved. Oh my god, that's crazy!

    The first people I met at the top of Springer Mountain, at the official start of the AT were drinking champagne and being kind of obnoxious. Translated---Very friendly and having fun = Not Spiritual! Oh, my poor mind. My destiny began to unfold to moment I stepped on the trail, and I resisted it like mad! Super nice, friendly, earthy, funny people kept trying to talk to me, share snacks, talk about themselves, find out about me….and I was like "control, control, don't talk to anybody, you're being spiritual."  That lasted about 4 days in when I fell in with a couple of guys and we just fit. Our personalities, our humor, the vast topics of conversation. One guy was 21 maybe. His trail name was Huck Finn. He had been a camp counselor for Peace Camp, taught young kids non violent communication and conflict resolution. He was so funny, oh my god we laughed so much ~ At everything, at ourselves, at each other. That was a new thing, being able to howl with laughter at your friend, without apology, knowing it's cool. The other guy, in his late 30's was a Thai Buddhist monk at a monastery in the North Carolina mountains. The master kept sort of kicking him out so he could find his purpose, apparently his purpose wasn't to make meals for his master for the rest of his days even though he would have liked that I think. Such easy company. With my expectation of not meeting anyone (if anything, I wanted to repel) I had not a single reason to impress, tell story, or be anything other than completely and singularly, myself. So, somehow even with the mantra I had been repeating for years "I just want to be alone. I just want to be alone. I just want to be alone.", I was finding myself in moments of great joy, peace in the midst of laughing so hard it hurts, connected to all things, meeting and liking a lot of people and being thoroughly surprised.

    Wow, so the greatest teaching was not learning to identify all the trees and birds of prey, tracking and building fires in the wet and the cold. It was not even that I can accomplish what I set my mind to, that I was able to finish something that only 1/4 of those who start actually finish. The greatest teaching was truly being able to see the truth, the holy beauty of the divine, god ~ in others. In everyone. Even those I didn't like. Even those, non-spiritual-fun-loving types. And I loved them. I loved them so much, I couldn't believe I could love people as a whole, so much. Through that, I started to love myself a little better and started to find out, and accept that other folks on the trail liked me kind of a lot (!) and thought I was pretty groovy…..What?? Liberating.

     Our paths are all so different. The wisdom that we need to learn to bring us to the next level is so unique to each of us, like the specific key that unlocks that big door for you. Walk through, and there is no turning back. I Knew I had to do this hike. As much as I have played it down at times, it truly was a Pilgrimage. A holy pilgrimage. My path was, literally, a path. Just a little unassuming brown dirt footpath winding through the woods, up and down mountains, over open highlands, across rivers and streams……I just had to stay on the path. Follow the White Blazes. Eventually the white blazes end, and you come down off the mountain. I came down, not in ecstatic exhilaration, but so mellow, happy, proud of myself and my hiker friends who I finished the trail that day with and, well…….at peace.

    So, now the paths continues to unfold. It's a little different, a lot different and keeps changing and evolving. With the energy of this thru hiking season upon us, I am filled, once again with that wild desire to be in it. Drop me off on the side of the road and I'll see ya later! Since I've been in Yoga Teacher Training all through this year, the journey has been more inward. Still very physical, but all designed so that you can experience your own true nature, your own infinity, your own Sat Nam. The worlds are beautifully colliding as now I have a practice that I can take with me everywhere, everyday. I don't need books (maybe one book), cds, laptop, phone ~ just my backpack, tent, sleeping mat, sleeping bag, cookstove & pot, some food, water……just go. Walk. Slow and steady. Naturally waking with the morning birds, greeting the day with prayer, practice, and meditation, surrounded by creation. Part of it, part of it all.

Sat Nam! Happy Hiking! Big Blessings for all Ya'll heading out soon or already making your way North! Much Love!

Melinda    ~ManyNames~

Peace Ya'll!!!

An old song…..
~Slow and Steady~

Feels like…this worlds moves
Too fast for me
I'm slow and steady

Flowin' along…..in my own
Sense of time

I could walk my…..whole life
Slow and steady

Feeling the earth's………heartbeat
In my bones

I could sink, down………..down
To the bottom of the sea
In the dim, dark, heavy world
I'm breathing deep
I fall asleep
I know what to keep
And when to let go

Oh, this big ol' world………keeps on spinning
Slow and steady
Slow and steady

Yeah this big ol' world……….keeps on spinning
Slow and steady
Slow and steady
Slow and steady