थे कोन्तिनुएइन्ग एंड रेतुर्निंग

This doesn't seem to be about hiking a long trail anymore, it's gone beyond that. It moves forward, but in moving forward it remembers. It remembers stars and nothing else. It remembers phosphorescence in the shape of whales. It remembers a storm and waves so big they would swallow my love whole and spit him back out again. It remembers diving overboard during a storm in the night with a rope tied around my waist, diving down to untangle the two anchors, blind. Diving in, in the dark where I know there are sharks. With an 'I love you' and a kiss, I jumped..I think I was crying. When I was finished I packed my backpack and slept with my boots on, ready to run if we dragged anchor again and hit the rocks. I almost wanted it to happen, so I could go. Go where? There were no trails on this island, not even a beach, not a soul. Just mangroves, saw palmettos and poison ivy...not even coconuts. There was no where to go. I resigned. The next day I rowed out to the little island and sat on my rock. And waited. I waited for the sun to come up, to move across the sky,and to go down. I watched my shadow move. I watched the clothes dry on the line. I sat, I breathed, I watched. I had never been so still in my life.